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I am not sure when I changed!!!


I’ve been thinking how and when I changed. 15 years ago, I was this fun and care free person. No, I never broke rules but I laughed more, shopped more, went out more and I had promised not to change…I have 2 daughters 14 and 12 and I certainly am not an obsessive mother.  I started out with doing my job as a mom and told myself never to let the ‘ mum’ syndrome get to me where all I would do is to worry about what my kids ate, what they did etc. I would let them grow and not be pushy about marks, competition and never compare. I would talk to them like equals.  In fact many of my friends called me the ‘practical mom’ .  While I felt, I had stuck to the agreed principle, 14 years down the line and I realize my girls had somehow silently encroached into my time, my space, my entire life.  They take up every waking moment once they are back from school and I am back from work. I am not complaining but…the other day when my older one said, ” mamma has no life”, I realized that maybe I had been complaining. I had not meant it of course…I mean I love being with them and doing stuff with them but somewhere down the line I had made them believe that I was forced into this. It could have been work pressure or just the responsibility of handling a family. Kids take things we say verbatim. When my daughter said this, I began to argue my case that I loved my life and I was truly blessed.


I knew I had done something wrong that the girls had got this feeling. It had to change and I had to show my girls that I was happy and that being a mum is not  punishment or being a woman means putting others before yourself. There will be difficult times but there are many precious moments too that I wouldn’t trade for anything. This, is as important as all the other things that we teach our girls. They need to know that they need to care for themselves before they can genuinely care for others.

So mums out there, please do not forget yourselves and let the role of being a mom take over every other role you play. A mother is a daughter’s role model and she will eventually replicate her mother’s way. So, if you want your daughter to succeed, have faith in herself, be confident, be kind and caring, smart and honest, stand for what she believes in, that’s what she needs to see in you.


There will be stressful days, days you wish you did not have kids but that’s fine. That’s when you need to get out, take a break and love yourself. Nobody said being a mom, raising a family was easy and if you are doing it, you are doing the most difficult job in the world. So go ahead and be kind to yourself and reward yourself. You deserve it!


  1. One of the most difficult and responsible job in the world ..moulding and grooming our girls to be strong and independent women..but u r right smitha..we get so wrapped up in our daily chores that we forget the woman within us..thanks for the encouragement for all always beautifully penned 👌

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Smitha .. This is one my favorite postings of yours. Actually seen several friends of mine being lost in motherhood and actually have nothing left for themselves , ofcourse being responsible mom should not fade away the very thought Mom have their life too..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Gayathri. Sometimes the ‘mom’ syndrome takes over you and before you know it, thats the only identity you have.
      Guess we need to keep reminding ourselves and our friends coz that’s what real friends do- help each other through😊


  3. Smitha,
    Nicely written. Yes, moms are the last ones on the list. It is we who have to change that and society has to accept it. Kudos to the brave ones like you who realise this and achieve it.
    Its should be like how they list it in the air plane info card: In case of emergency put on the oxygen mask and then help others.


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