Holding on …keeps me alive
I had written this poem when I lost my mother, 10 years ago. A friend asked me to post it and so I have. Someone told me then, time is the best healer. I had not believed it then . In fact, I hated those who said it, for it felt like they were saying that I would eventually forget and to forget seemed unforgiveable. But they were right…time dims your memory and the pain but not the love that one feels…
I see you in my mind’s eye,
Your smile, your anger, little glimpses flash by,
As if you were right there,
I know not what went wrong and where…
I close my eyes to see more of you,
Memories of the past, so fresh, so true,
It’s you I look for, among the rest,
Seems like yesterday, you looked your best…
Wish I could re-write the past,
Wish this hadn’t been your last,
Wish you’d know how much I miss you,
Wish I had told you, how much I loved you…
There’s nothing that I can mend,
For this injustice, who do I avenge?
Your absence hurts, stings my eyes and chokes my throat,
As I read over and over the last hand-written note.
To be with you, is all I want,
“Let go, Move on”, a resounding taunt,
They watch me and call me naïve,
As in this sorrow, a deep chasm, I wish to dive.
Was there a stone unturned?
Was there an option untried?
A million questions, answer none,
The burden of acceptance, weighing a ton.
Alone, I must trudge forward,
Carrying you in my heart, I must not look backward,
Picking up the threads, that you left behind,
Your love, your teachings, will, us together bind.