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NaPoWriMo 2018: Day 26 – A Poem that touches all senses -WhEn Will this MaDnESs EnD?

Today we bring you a new craft resource, in the form of this essay by Josh Roark exploring engagement of the senses, and of the notion of embodiment, in the poetry of Ocean Vuong. Roark argues that the key to the success of Vuong’s poems is his particular ability to make the reader feel a poem as a visceral object, and not one that is removed or merely intellectual. If you’d like to check out some more of Vuong’s work, you might look at this poem that, fittingly for our purposes, is titled Essay on Craft.

And now for our prompt (optional as always). Taking our cue from today’s craft resource, we’d like to challenge you to write a poem that includes images that engage all five senses. Try to be as concrete and exact as possible with the “feel” of what the poem invites the reader to see, smell, touch, taste and hear.


Here’s mine for today:

April Spring

The weekend’s over

Bright, Sunny  morning, 

A gentle breeze blows, flutters the clover

Musk in her hair;  2 days to the wedding

He ‘s washed his face, he’s had a shower

A platinum band she picked, 3 whites stones shimmering…

Blue, checked shirt, cargo pants, he looks sober

She’s wearing a pink hat, a white cotton dress,

Hands in his pockets, a cap on his head

Mint in her mouth, a skip in her step, bouncing her tress

He walked the same path that to his school had led

Bless this day, Bless the man she loved, Bless…

Mewing, mewing  to himself, not a word he said

She hears a mew, she doesn’t turn, she couldn’t care less

Lifts himself into the white van, standing.

There he is, the scent of musk…waiting

And starts driving…

The traffic light red…he looks dashing

Swerving…

At the pedestrian crossing…

Into the pedestrian crossing.

Blood spilling, she sees him fall, dying…

Then into the side-walk, he comes ramming

She does not scream. She does not cry

Knocks her off. He isn’t even looking

In a pool of blood, she’s left to die…

 He doesn’t stop to watch. He couldn’t care less

The platinum band, 3 white stones shimmering

Bless their souls, bless the country, Bless…

Crushed… In 2 days was the wedding.

 

canada1

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Note: pictures from the Internet

 

 

 

 

 

29 Comments »

  1. Sad! You have brought the contrast in either attitudes well, making the reader wonder – why? But some stories have no explanations, they happen because they happen. The taste of betrayal is indeed too sour to digest – even for this reader.

    Like

  2. OMG this is heartbreaking… 😦 You have penned it so well Smitha…
    The words you chose to write this Smitha… I am speechless… Especially the below lines…
    In a pool of blood, she’s left to die…
    The platinum band, 3 white stones shimmering,
    Crushed… In 2 days was the wedding.

    Hugs & ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Smitha, Don’t know what to say… you have brought home the sense of hopelessness, the sense of desperation and feeling of betrayal with such lucidity… that it hurts… just as it did when I first read about it…Hugs- because I know you hurt too…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, thank you so much. I wasnt too sure of how the formatting would work…but I guess its ok and you were able to read it as I wanted it to be read. Yes…there’s no reason, no science to any of it. Just pure madness. Hugs to you too. Thank you.❤

      Like

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